WWE Bragging Rights 2009

Well, I'm in a good mood today, so let's ruin it with a John Cena vs Randy Orton Iron Man Match, shall we?

WWE Bragging Rights 
October 25th, 2009
Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 

Well, the good news is that this show has five matches. The bad news is that one of them is a full hour of Randy Orton vs John Cena. Let's go. This is one of those Smackdown vs Raw pay per views that really didn't work out too well, hopefully this one isn't so bad.


Interbrand Singles Match
John Morrison (representing Smackdown) vs The Miz (representing Raw)
Apparently Miz is United States Champion here, while Morrison is Intercontinental Champion. These two always had good chemistry together, so this could be a good opener.

We start with a tie up and some chain wrestling that is pretty fast paced. It's more or less just Morrison wrestling circles around Miz. They exchange some quick falls and headlocks before things slow down a little. I love how the ropes near the hard cam go from red to blue so fluidly, it actually looks really cool. Miz rolled outside to catch his breath and slowly walked back in and gets a headlock takedown on Morrison. Morrison hits a standing shooting star press for two before Miz bullies him into the corner and then tosses him to the outside. Miz tries to suplex Morrison into the ring, but Morrison slides in through the bottom rope into a roll up for a two. Miz goes for a backslide, but Morrison counters. They exchange finisher attempts before Miz is clotheslined over the top rope. Morrison follows Miz outside just to roll him back in for a near fall. Miz whips Morrison into the corner and Morrison tries to go up and over Miz, but he's caught and tossed outside as Miz tries to get a count out. Inside, Miz hits a backdrop for another two count. Rest hold time before Morrison takes control again, but Miz hits his corner clothesline and drapes Morrison on the apron before hitting a huge knee and going into another rest hold. Randy Orton is probably backstage taking notes for the main event. Morrison goes for a roll up but gets a two and then tries another with the same result. They exchange kicks, and Miz throwing kicks is weird. Morrison ducks one and hits a kick to the head in a bad spot. Morrison hits a big calf kick for two. Another exchange of pin attempts that go nowhere before Morr,ison hits the spin kick off the ropes but Miz gets his foot on the rope to break the count. Morrison goes for the Starship Pain, but Miz rolls outside so Morrison hits a plancha instead. Morrison goes for a superplex, but he's tossed off and Miz hits a double axe handle. Morrison goes for Starship Pain again but Miz crotches him and pins him for the win. Well, that happened.

Winner: The Miz @ 10:54
This wasn't bad and it started off strong, but it fell apart as the match went on. After the half way point they both got really sloppy and awkward. This went a bit too long for these guys at this point.  The awful finish didn't help matters. *1/2

This is a three hour show with five matches and one of them is an hour, so we have two hours to fill with four matches, so I'm expecting a lot of backstage stuff tonight. We get recaps of how Smackdown got their members for the tag team match in a big tag match. Okay. There's a good reason I don't remember this show.

We get a promo with Cody Rhodes and he says Raw will get a clean sweep. He's approached by R-Truth. Cody rips into him and basically makes Smackdown look weak as hell, basically spoiling the brand vs brand match.

Six-Diva Interbrand Tag Team Match
Smackdown Divas (Michelle McCool, Beth Phoenix & Natalya) vs RAW Divas (Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim & Melina)
One reason I'm glad there's no brand split anymore, look at the difference in talent here. Smackdown has three pretty damn talented divas, while Raw has...Gail Kim.

Beth and Kim start off here and it's weird that in just six years. Kim reverses a scoop slam into a victory roll pretty early but only gets a two. McCool tags herself in and goes to work on Kim. Kim hits a beautiful Hurricanrana as Natalya tags in and exchanges roll ups and strikes with Kim. They fight around the apron for a bit before Kelly tags in. Kelly was awful. Nothing she did was crisp here, and that includes hitting the ropes. She tries a wheelbarrow, but Nattie just stun guns her instead for a near fall. McCool and Phoenix choke her while Nattie distracts the refs and McCool tags in shortly after and stomps away. Phoenix tags in right after and applies a nice looking armlock on Kelly. McCool tags in and hits a snapmare and goes right into a chin lock. Some knee strikes from McCool before Beth tags herself in. Kelly hits a jawbreaker and gets a hot tag to Melina who takes out Beth with a dropkick before a drop toe hold into the ropes. McCool distracts Melina and Beth goes for a slingshot suplex but Melina rolls her up for two. Headscissors Facebuster by Melina gets a near fall as the other four divas start brawling outside leaving Beth and Melina in the ring. Beth hits the Glam Slam for the win.

Winners: Smackdown Divas @ 6:54
This wasn't awful, but there wasn't anything in this to keep it interesting. It was basically a six diva squash match. * 

Backstage segment with DX hyping up the Raw locker room. They bring up Henry almost having a baby with Mae Young with which he says "man, that was a long time ago." That was chuckle worthy. Also bringing up how they exposed Kofi as a fake Jamaican. I remember that promo, good times.


World Heavyweight Championship
Fatal Four-Way
The Undertaker(c) vs CM Punk vs Rey Mysterio vs Batista
It's crazy how this is the third match on the card, but considering there's only five, it makes sense. I like 3/4 guys, so this could be fun. I could do without Batista though. Taker's entrance was long enough for me to make some nachos and go to the bathroom before it was over. I'm impressed.

Everyone starts brawling to begin and eventually Batista and Taker are left alone in the ring. Taker hits his flying clothesline as Mysterio comes in with kicks and sends Taker over the ropes with a dropkick. He goes for a plancha but Taker slides in the ring and hits a big boot. Taker goes for Old School on Batista and hits it. He turns his attention to Mysterio and goes for the same spot, but is crotched on the turnbuckle by Punk who tosses Mysterio outside and heads up top to Taker, he hits a superplex and Mysterio hits a splash. Batista and Punk brawl a bit and Batista hits a powerslam before Taker gets up and hits a big boot to his face. Mysterio goes for a hurricanrana from the top but Taker catches him and goes for a Last Ride but takes a spear from Batista for a nice spot. Mysterio and Batista waste time trying to see who will cover Taker. Mysterio tries but Taker grabs him by the throat. They team up as Mysterio hits a 619 and Batista hits a spinebuster for two as Punk breaks it up and goes after Rey. Rey's up top but Punk gets him and hits a big GTS for a two count as Batista breaks it up. Batista goes after Taker, but Taker catches him with Hell's Gate until Punk breaks it up. Punk hits the running knee in the corner, but then Taker catches him with a Last Ride and covers for a two as Batista breaks up the pin. They trade blows until Taker hits a chokeslam and covers for two as Punk breaks it up this time. Now he trades blows with Taker and gets tossed outside the ring. Undertaker goes for a tombstone, but Batista reverses and hits a Batista Bomb, but Mysterio breaks up the pin and tries to pin Taker himself. They argue and Batista throws him outside the ring. Taker hits a chokeslam on Batista for a near fall. Taker tries another chokeslam, but Batista fights out and they do a double clothesline spot as Punk tries to steal a pin but both Taker and Batista kick out. Punk is sent to the floor again by Batista, as is Mysterio. Batista turns around into a Tombstone and Undertaker retains.

Winner and still World Heavyweight Champion: The Undertaker @ 9:55
This was a fun match. They never made it seem like Mysterio and Punk had a chance of winning, but that's a match layout problem instead of who was in it. It was a bit short for four guys of this caliber, but it was fine for what it was. ***

After the match, Rey is interviewed about the match and repeats the same sentiment over and over. Batista attacks Rey and this went on so much longer than it needed to. I did laugh at Batista casually saying "I'm gonna rip your head off" before hitting a big lariat.

Fourteen-Man Interbrand Tag Team Match
Team Smackdown (Chris Jericho, Kane, R-Truth, Matt Hardy, Finlay, Tyson Kidd & David Hart Smith) vs Team Raw (Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Big Show, Cody Rhodes, Jack Swagger, Kofi Kingston & Mark Henry)

This is one fall to the finish and has fourteen guys in it, so I'm expecting this match to be fucking impossible to follow at some point, so I'm not doing a full on play by play for this match (or the main event). Instead, I'll be doing my thoughts on what's happening. This match basically shows us why we don't have a brand split anymore. There are two main event talents on Team Smackdown. Two. The rest are barely mid card guys.

Truth and Cody start and work some pretty decent fast paced spots, but then Big Show and Kane tag in so there goes that. They work for a minute of slow and boring moves until Swagger tags in and gets whooped by Kane, who tags in Matt Hardy. He gets a near fall off a clothesline and pulls off Swagger's shirt and hits his second rope leg drop for two. They fight outside and hell starts breaking loose between the two teams as the ref tries to keep control. No big brawls yet as they go back inside the ring and Mark Henry gets his time to shine. He's in a red shirt, with a red singlet and black kneepads. He reminds me of this guy:

This being live action is disturbing.

Michaels tags in now and I forgot he was even in this match. There's seven guys on each team, there's no reason for Hardy to get this much shine. He and HBK mis-time the side effect BADLY and Hardy tags in Finlay. Michaels does his corner whip spot and Finlay works his typical brawler style. Nothing has really happened so far. The only actual move I've seen hit is that side effect on HBK, otherwise it's just brawling, which is fine, but most of these guys aren't the brawling type. They do a double down spot until HBK hits a Sweet Chin Music on Finlay but Smith tagged in before hand, he and Kidd hit the Hart Attack on HBK but he kicks out because fuck what you know about tag finishers. Jericho tags in next. Michaels fights back for a bit, but it's largely Jericho controlling this one.  Kane is in next and does nothing before Smith is back in. He hits a Saito suplex before tagging in Kidd who misses a springboard elbow and Triple H gets the hot tag and he takes out the Hart Dynasty until Kane chokeslams him, the distraction lets Kidd tag in Jericho who misses a Lionsault. Kofi tags in now and takes out Jericho pretty quickly. He hits the Trouble in Paradise and now all hell breaks loose with everybody attacking each other now and hitting finishers on everyone else. What we're left with, is Jericho, Kofi and Big Show in the ring. Big Show turned heel and chokeslammed Kofi before knocking out Triple H. Slow cover by Jericho gets the win.

Winners: Team Smackdown @ 15:34
This was a weird match. It wasn't bad, but again, not much really happened in it until the last two minutes. It was just incredibly boring for 13 minutes. **

We get a promo package for the main event and then Cody attacking Kofi backstage for losing the match for Raw.

WWE Championship
60-Minute Anything Goes Iron Man Match
Randy Orton(c) vs John Cena 
Well, I am not looking forward to this match. I've been avoiding watching this for six years successfully, but here we are.  They announce it as the "final confrontation." Oh really, Cole? IS IT REALLY?! At least it's falls count anywhere. Apparently if Cena loses, he has to leave the Raw brand. Which means he'd go to Smackdown and still collect his million dollar payday. Oh, the tragedy!

They start slow with some chain wrestling, which makes sense given they have to go for an hour. Cena gets the first fall really quickly. After four minutes, he locks in the STF and Orton immediately taps out. Cena is winning one fall to none via submission. We get a 30 second break and they're back to it. Orton stomps away and we get our first rest hold a little over seven minutes into this. This rest hold was two minutes long. Two full minutes of rest hold. Cena gets out of it of course and hits his leg drop from the top rope. Cena goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Orton hits an RKO from outta nowhere for the three. Orton wins fall 2 via pinfall, we're tied 1-1. We get thirty seconds between falls which is meh, but it makes sense to give the guys a little bit to rest. We finally go to the outside when Orton knocks Cena off the apron. They do some basic brawling outside until Orton strips down the announce table. Cena got hit with the monitor and I like that spot, the monitors aren't really used anymore as weapons since shots to the head have been revoked. John Cena is busted open and he waves off the trainer. I like it, but they stopped the clock so this is going over 60 minutes. Orton is using the stipulation really well as this is basically a perfect match stipulation for a heel. He stomps Cena's head on the stomps but he kicks out because Cenawinslolz

Cena hits his five moves of doom and goes for the AA but Orton catches him with an RKO on the way down and we get a double pin. We're tied 2-2 now. After the thirty second break, Cena hits an Attitude Adjustment off the top rope for a pin. Cena takes a 3-2 lead via pinfall. Ted Dibiase and Cody Rhodes come out during the 30 second between falls to attack Cena. Dibiase hits the Dream Street and they drag Orton over Cena for another fall. We're tied 3-3 as Orton wins via pinfall. Kofi Kingston comes out with a chair and chases Legacy away. That was kind of funny. 38 minutes left in this match and we're tied. They brawl outside a bit and go towards the ramp area where all the electrical and pyro equipment is. Orton throws Cena through the lighting grid on the set for a cool spot. He drags Cena out and pins him. Orton takes a 4-3 lead. Orton then accidentally sets off random pyros and that's pretty damn funny. Cena's on the stage and Orton has a chair and he only hits him once instead of a million times. Orton tries to lay Cena on top of the pyro and set the pyro off, but the button isn't working now. It finally does, but not until Cena rolls out of the way just in time.

They keep brawling down the ramp and Orton continues to have control for about ten full minutes. His pinfalls are not working, because Cena is God. John Cena pulled out a Small Package at the 27 minute left mark to tie it up. Cena ties it at 4-4 via pinfall. Orton hits his hangman DDT onto the floor and gets the pin no more than two minutes later. Orton takes a 5-4 lead via pinfall. Yawn. The biggest problem with this match, is that while things are happening, and it's not bad technically speaking, it's that these guys don't have the chemistry you need to make this work. Kurt Angle and Brock Lesnar had a fantastic iron man match, probably my favorite one of all time, because their chemistry was incredible. Orton and Cena have never worked well together, so watching them fight for 60 minutes just is not interesting. The crowd is rightfully dead for this. Cena fights back and drops Orton with a punch and then Orton runs away. We got 20 minutes left in this one. Orton continues to run away from Cena. This is how the rest of this is going to go. Okay then.  Cena goes for another AA but Orton escapes and runs away again. Cena chases him down in the crowd and they do some more basic brawling out there. We got 15 minutes left. Cena throws Orton into the steps, the barricade etc and picks up the next fall by hitting an AA from the steel steps through the announce table. Cena ties it up 5-5 via pinfall. We have 9 minutes left and we're tied. Cena brings out a table with about seven minutes left. Cena lays Orton on a table and goes for a leg drop but Orton moves and Cena goes through a table with five minutes let. We've had five straight minutes of absolutely nothing happening. They're exchanging strikes on their knees with three and a half minutes left. Orton hits an RKO but the ref took a bump so Cena kicks out with two minutes left. Orton misses a punt and Cena locks in the STF for another fall as time expires. Cena takes a 6-5 lead to win.

Winner and new WWE Champion: John Cena @ 60:00
This is terrible. I mean, shit happens...sometimes, but most of the match doesn't lead to anything, it's all over the place. They managed to do some really awesome spots and then go immediately back into an extremely boring match. I'm not sure how a match can be both exciting and boring at the same time. This isn't my least favorite Iron Man Match I've seen, but it's so far from the best. **

Overall: 4/10 Bad: This show only had five matches, so it's really easy to have a bad card. Only one match was over two stars, but nothing is worth going back to watch. The main event was an absolute chore to watch, and actually took me three sessions to sit through.

WCW Uncensored 2000

Well, it's been a while since I reviewed anything, so why not make me regret reviewing another show? This time, my randomizer gave me...

WCW Uncensored

March 19th, 2000

American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida

Well, the poster shows us Steiner, Bret Hart, Kevin Nash and Jeff Jarrett. Just a heads up, Jarrett is the only one tonight with a match. I'm watching this on my TV instead of my laptop tonight courtesy of the WWE Network (which you can get for 10x less than you paid for that shitty super boxing "fight"), so no gif images unless I can find some online, which I'm sure there will be a few I can find. Also, we get eleven matches tonight, so we get to see ALL that WCW has to offer...sigh.

We open with backstage segments with Sid talking to Hogan and Jarrett talking to what I guess are his body guards. Both guys say they're gonna win. It's WCW, so that's not actually impossible. 

WCW Cruiserweight Championship

The Artist(c) w/ Paisley  vs Psychosis w/ Juventud Guerrera

I really dislike this Artist gimmick. I didn't like it then, I don't like it now. I also don't like how WCW unmasked everybody. Luchadors are not luchadors without their masks, at least not in 2000. It's just not the same feel. Maskless Psychosis reminds me of Gerardo, you know, the guy who sang "Rico Suave. 

 Seriously, that first photo is from 1991. Add a few extra years and it's uncanny!

Before the bell rings, some random music starts playing and Chris Candido comes down to the ring, because why not?  We start with chops from Psychosis to Artist. I'm just going to call Artist his old name, Prince, because fuck WCW. Psychosis sends Prince over the top rope as Candido gets on commentary. Plancha by Psychosis takes out Prince who immediately gets up and into the ring. Prince gets Psychosis in a tree of woe and hits a running knee to the gut. Prince hits a crappy superkick for a near fall and tosses Psychosis outside. Paisley slaps Psychosis right in front of the referee, but no DQ is called. Inside, more corner strikes by Prince. A few near falls take place, but nothing really interesting happens. Psychosis hits a big hurricanrana off the top rope for a near fall. Prince wins with a Diving DDT after distraction from Paisley, who beat up Juventud. Yep.

Winner and still WCW Cruiserweight Champion: The Artist via pinfall @ 7:22

This was a bad opener. WCW 2000 usually had one thing going for their shows, that being the openers were solid. This one wasn't bad, but there was just nothing to it. It was boring, Prince is boring and Psychosis deserved better.  1/2*

We get a promo with Bam Bam Bigelow cutting a promo on The Wall. He fucks up a few times. He says he taught Wall everything he knows about wrestling. So...nothing? 

Tag Team Match

Norman Smiley & The Demon vs Lenny Lane & Rave

This might be the weirdest tag team combination I've ever heard of. Smiley and the Kiss Demon. I just don't have words. Miss Hancock is on commentary. I'll take four minutes of staring at her instead of this match. I will say though, Kiss Demon's entrance was cool for the time. And now Norman Smiley is dressed up like the Demon. 

I wish I were joking.

Demon starts against Rave, but they quickly go outside and it's Smiley and Lenny Lane in the ring. Big Wiggle by Smiley followed by a scoop slam. Rave takes control over the Demon while he and Lane hit a double team in the corner, but they horribly botch a double clothesline. A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE WAS BOTCHED. Smiley takes over until Lane hits a full nelson facebuster on Smiley and The Demon comes in now to take a clothesline over the ropes. Smiley locks in a crossface chickenwing for the win.

Winners: Norman Smiley & The Demon via submission @ 3:41

There is nothing redeeming about this match at all. It's just awful. Three minutes felt like thirty. DUD

After the match, Miss Hancock does the Big Wiggle to Smiley. Yep. 

Backstage, Kidman is hyping up Booker backstage. Also, David Flair is saying shit to Daffney, but the audio sucks and I can't hear anything. It's David Flair, so it probably wasn't worth hearing anyway. 

The Wall vs Bam Bam Bigelow

Before the match, we get a recap of The Wall attacking David Flair and Crowbar. Meh. 

The Wall is one of the worst wrestlers I've ever seen, and I don't think even Bam Bam can work a good power vs power match with him. We start with Bam Bam going right to work and they start exchanging strikes. Wall takes control with a clothesline and hits a few more because that seems like all he can do. Bam Bam goes up top and hits a headbutt for two. Wall hits (misses badly) a big boot to take control and hits a knee for two. They go outside where Wall chokeslams Bam Bam through a table to get disqualified. 

Winner via Disqualification: Bam Bam Bigelow @ 3:26

I can't give this a dud, because it was better than the last match, but there's nothing to watch here. Props to Bam Bam for putting over such an awful wrestler. 1/4*

After the match, David Flair and Crowbar attack Wall, but get taken out. Scratch that, Crowbar gets chokeslammed off the titantron structure. That segment was better than the entire match. 

We go from that into an interview with Brian Knobs.  He dedicates his hardcore title match to Crowbar and Bam Bam. It's a three on one handicap match. Brian Knobs. It's 2000. Brian fucking Knobs.

WCW Hardcore Championship

Three on One Elimination Handicap Match

Brian Knobs vs 3 Count (Shannon Moore, Shane Helms & Evan Karagias)(c)

WHY THE HELL IS BRIAN KNOBS STILL ACTIVE IN 2000?!? 

3 Count are collectively the hardcore champions. That wouldn't be too bad if they weren't against Brian fucking Knobs here.  Knobs brings out a dumpster full of crap and 3 Count starts dominating early as they should. This is elimination style, so there is absolutely zero reason for Knobs to win this. Knobs of course gains control by beating everybody with a trash can. Helms hits him with a chair and they propped up a ladder and Helms, Karagias hit splashes off the ladder, but Moore missed a senton from it. They start dancing as Knobs gets em all with a fire extinguisher and goes to town on Shane Helms. Helms is eliminated at 3:00 after a chair shot. Yep. I think we know where this is going now. Knobs takes out a table and powerbombs Karagias through it from inside the ring, that was actually pretty cool. Karagias is eliminated at 4:15. We're down to Moore and Knobs. Knobs takes out another table. Moore gets a pin, but Knobbs' foot was on the rope. IT'S A HARDCORE MATCH, FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE. Only WCW. Knobs win after a trash can shot.

Winner and new WCW Hardcore Champion: Brian Knobs via pinfall @ 6:51

This was a seven minute handicap squash match. There is no reason a 2000 Brian Knobs should be destroying three young talents. That said, the powerbomb spot is the only reason this isn't getting a dud. 1/4*

We get a promo with the new Harlem Heat. Ahmed ruins it. Meh. Also get a backstage promo with Vampiro acting crazy and talking in circles. Works well for his character.

Tag Team Match

Harlem Heat 2000 (Big T & Stevie Ray) w/Torrie Wilson vs Billy Kidman and Booker T w/Cash & J Biggs

I can't say I'm a fan of anybody in this match at this point. Kidman was okay, but I was never a fan of Booker or Stevie Ray and Ahmed Johnson is among the worst wrestlers ever. Stevie and Booker start, which is interesting, you'd think you'd build to their interaction instead of starting with it. Book takes advantage as Kidman tags in and hits a dropkick that Stevie sells hilariously bad. Ahmed tags in and he got fat, damn. Kidman hits a dropkick that Ahmed sells even worse than Stevie. Book tags in and goes against Ahmed now. Cash tries to interfere, but Booker hits the Axe kick. Kidman tags in and goes up top but Stevie knocks him off and for some reason he's the legal man now despite no tag being made, which makes even less sense when he immediately tags in Ahmed. WCW match structure at its finest. Ahmed literally does nothing before tagging Stevie back in. They did one move over four tags. Ahmed does a spot where he tries to crossbody Kidman over the barricade, but he doesn't make it and just falls flat on his face and that is hilarious. 

I believe I can fl...ouch.

Kidman takes over against Stevie with a tornado bulldog. Hot tag to Booker, Bookend to Ahmed gets a two. Bookend to Stevie now. Harlem Heat botch a double spinebuster on Booker as Kidman breaks up the pin. Kidman tags in and rolls up Ahmed for the three.

Winners: Billy Kidman & Booker T via pinfall @ 6:59

This match felt a LOT longer than seven minutes and not in a good way. This was all over the place with a ton of botched spots, bad flow and formatting; just nothing worth watching here. *

We get a promo for Finlay vs Vampiro, and Finlay has the EXACT SAME LOOK as Brian Knobs. I legitimately thought it was Knobs working double duty. That's fucking awful. 

Falls Count Anywhere

Fit Finlay vs Vampiro

I have high-ish hopes for this. It's still WCW, but it's two guys that can have entertaining brawls. Finlay has control early as he dominates Vampiro with strikes. Vampiro gets it back and hits a big spinning heel kick off the top rope for a near fall. Vampiro is a weird guy in that he was never very good, but I still I think he deserved more than he got. There was an interesting character to him that could have been bigger. Vampiro keeps control until Finlay starts slamming his head into shit. Finlay hits a steamroller and grabs a very padded chair outside the ring. He lays the chair padding first on Vampiro's face but the ref takes it away, so Finlay grabs it back and Vampiro kicks it back in his face. Outside, they do some basic brawling near the announce table before heading towards the ramp. They fight into the crowd and work their way up the stairs. They actually bump on the stairs once, so props to Finlay for that before they go backstage. The fight starts going towards the women's bathroom, but then they switch and go into the men's room. I laughed at that. They fight into a bathroom stall and Finlay bumped on the gross bathroom floor. Vampiro climbed a stall and went for a dive but Finlay was very clearly holding a trashcan so that was a bad idea. They're fighting in the crowd now as the lighting is now gone and you can't see shit. WCW did not plan out the direction of this fight well. They fight outside and immediately go back inside. Vampiro takes a back body drop on the floor, but recovers to hit the Nail in the Coffin for the three.

Winner: Vampiro via pinfall @ 8:38

This was about six minutes of walking to set up the finish and two minutes of wrestling. There really was just nothing to this. It lived up to the gimmick, but was not nearly the match they hyped it to be. This really just bored me more than anything. *

We get a promo with the Mamalukes about the Harris Brothers. There is not one person in this upcoming match that I like to watch. I'm tempted to make a pizza instead of watch it. 

WCW World Tag Team Championship

The Harris Brothers (Ron & Don) vs The Mamalukes (Johnny Stamboli & Big Vito) w/Disco Inferno

As I said, I made a pizza, I caught the ending where Ron Harris hits Stamboli with an H Bomb for the win.

Winners and new WCW Tag Team Champions: The Harris Brothers via pinfall @ 8:45

Nothing to rate for me. Pizza gets **** however. 

Bullrope Match

Terry Funk vs Dustin Rhodes

I love Funk, but Rhodes was only ever worth watching as Goldust. I have zero interest in this match. This is literally the same thing as the main event, except this one has pinfalls. Strap matches suck enough as is, we don't need two on the same show.

We literally start with Dustin chasing somebody in a chicken suit around the ring before Funk attacks him outside the ring. They're supposed to be tied together, not sure how the match can start before that happens, but here we are. I thought Funk was gonna tie himself with the rope, like the match is stipulated to be, but apparently this is just a hardcore match as he whips Rhodes with it. Funk hits a few moves and a DDT to get a near fall. Funk hits him with the cowbell for a two count. 

Rhodes wraps the rope around Funk's neck and whips him which lays him out. Outside now, Rhodes does the same exact spot. Inside, they are FINALLY tied up, it only took about five minutes. Rhodes is in complete control and hits a back drop for a two count. Rhodes hits a bulldog on the cowbell for a two count. Rhodes is then attacked by the guy in the chicken suit before hitting him with the cowbell. I'm not joking, this is actually happening. Rhodes does not take off the chicken's mask. Wouldn't you want to know who the fuck is attacking you?! WCW logic. Funk takes control off the distraction and grabs a mic. He says he's making the match an I Quit match. The ref says no and so Funk hits him with the cowbell. The next minute is just Funk hitting Rhodes with the bell until Rhodes says I Quit. Rhodes says he quits but there's no bell called. This would be a submission then, referee, Rhodes gave up. But, you know, WCW. Rhodes takes advantage, beats up Funk with the bell and hits a piledriver onto it for the win.

Winner: Dustin Rhodes via pinfall @ 9:01

I love Funk, but this was hard to watch. It was just a bunch of moves onto a cowbell, no rhyme or reason for any of it. This was the second longest match of the night and was just terrible. The chicken interference was the worst thing I've ever seen because it just made no sense at all. 1/4*

We get a promo with Sid, and he's funny as always. 

Lumberjacks with Casts Match

The Total Package (Lex Luger) vs Sting

Luger sucks, and this match probably will too. Every single lumberjack has a cast on. Every single one. Even the guys who don't have a broken arm have casts on. 

We start with Luger taking it to Sting right off the bat, but Sting fights back. I don't think we've seen a tie up tonight, so that's a fun fact. Sting takes advantage back and just stomps away on Luger for a good 15 seconds. Sting hits a few strikes and a scoop slam for a two count. Sting throws Luger to the outside where his lumberjacks are and they beat on Luger before tossing him back in the ring. Luger fake begs Sting to stop, but when Sting gets close Luger throws him to his lumberjacks outside the ring who do the same thing. Tank Freaking Abbott is out to ringside now as he sucker punches Doug Dillinger and leaves. Thanks for coming, Tank. Meanwhile Luger hits a clothesline on Sting as the lumberjacks are all fighting outside the ring by the entrance way. They all fight to the back as the ringside area is clear now. Way to go, WCW, completely abandon a stipulation. Oh, wait, Vampiro is outside the ring. 

Flair and Elizabeth come down to the ring and try to get involved, but Vampiro stops Flair as Sting hits a bulldog on Luger in the ring. Flair gets in the ring and starts chopping Sting right in front of the ref. Pretty sure that's a DQ. Stinger Splash to Flair takes him out of the ring as Luger takes control before Sting hits a Stinger Splash on him. Elizabeth hits Sting with the bat, but Jimmy Hart takes Elizabeth to the back. In the ring, both men are down, but Luger crawls to cover for a two count. Torture Rack attempt is thwarted by Vampiro who hits Luger with the bat. Sting hits the Scorpion Death Drop for the win.

Winner: Sting via pinfall @ 7:01

This was even worse than I thought it would be. This was not about Sting and Luger, it was about the lumberjacks and Vampiro. This was all over the place and I had no reason to care about this. DUD

Tank Abbott is interviewed about punching Doug Dillinger. He said he punched him because he can. Okay. Apparently Sid and Jarrett was supposed to be last, but WCW switched it mid show, because Hogan has to main event everything. 

WCW World Heavyweight Championship

Sid Vicious (c) vs Jeff Jarrett

Another match I'm expecting to be awful. Another match without a lock up. Sid starts tearing Jarrett apart until he goes for a chokeslam and Jarrett rakes the eyes before being sent outside by Sid. Sid slams Jarrett onto the table and then hits a double axe handle off of it before tossing Jarrett into the crowd. They keep fighting through the crowd. The Harris Brothers start attacking Sid and again there is no disqualification called. Jarrett joins them inside and decides to taunt instead of keeping the pressure on, because that's smart booking for a match. Jarrett gets a sleeper on Sid, but Sid escapes. Jarrett goes for a double axe handle but gets low blowed and Sid hits a big boot. Harris Brother 1 interferes and Jarrett takes an accidental shot from the title belt from the other Harris for two. Chokeslam by Sid is reversed via low blow by Jarrett. Jarrett caught the ref with an accidental backhand and then slams his head into the turnbuckle. Guitar shot to Sid Vicious and Jarrett calls another ref to the ring, but hey, here's Hulk Hogan following him to pull him out  and punch him in the face. Hogan takes out Jarrett and hits a leg drop, Sid covers and wins.

Winner and still WCW World Heavyweight Champion: Sid Vicious via pinfall@ 7:36

Yep. Awful. Jarrett at no point looked strong in this match and this was basically a giant squash until the finish, which was just horrendous. DUD

Scott Steiner attacks Hogan after the match and Sid takes everybody out with chokeslams. Ric Flair comes out immediately with the strap and we're underway for our main event. Jimmy Hart is out to ringside

Yappapi Indian Strap Match

Hulk Hogan vs Ric Flair

We started with Flair attacking Hogan after he was beaten by Steiner, but Hogan took back control as they brawl on the outside. Standards shots against and into the barricade stuff here. Inside, Hogan chokes Flair and starts whipping him with the strap over and over. Flair's got the advantage now and starts choking Hogan with it. They trade whips with the strap and chops until Hogan hits a clothesline and chokes Flair with it again. About four minutes have passed since that sentence and nothing interesting has happened. Flair tries to leave, but Hogan chases him down to the entrance ramp and Lex Luger comes out and hits Hogan with a chair and leaves. Thanks, Lex. Flair uses that to take advantage and drag Hogan back to the ring. Flair takes the strap off and tries to touch the corners until he realizes he can't do that. This match is way too long for so little to be happening. Flair has something on his hands, like brass knucks but with crazy padding on them. Hogan Hulks up and hits Flair with a leg drop and pins Flair to win...Wait what?

Winner: Hulk Hogan via pinfall @ 14:28

This was so boring. There was just nothing interesting to this and the match ended in a pinfall for some unknown reason. One of the worst main events I've ever seen, but sadly, not even the worst of this year for WCW. DUD

Overall: DUD. This show really is horrendous. Only one match hit the one star mark and nothing else even came close. This is my worst rated show so far, but sadly, it wasn't the biggest chore overall to watch (that goes to ISW or Bash at the Beach 2000). Do not watch this show. Ever. For any reason.

Absolute Intense Wrestling: Absolution IX

So I've been meaning to do this review for a while, after the other two shows I reviewed, I was excited to review their biggest show. I don't want to waste much time, so I'm going to get right into it.  I don't have any official match times on hand, and I'm not feeling the stopwatches tonight, so no match times here, but I'll give some rough estimates.

Absolute Intense Wrestling: Absolution IX
June 29th, 2014
Turner's Hall, Cleveland, Ohio

We start the show like we do with every AIW show, fifteen minutes of promos. Matt Cross starts it with a really solid promo on Josh Prohibition. Kingston cuts a good promo on Rickey Shane Page. Gregory Iron cuts a promo, and I still cannot stand this guy. He's a bad wrestler and worse on the mic. Why he's on every indy show I review is beyond me. Jimmy Jacobs and BJ Whitmer cut a promo on the Jollyville Fuck-its, but it's all Jimmy, which is how it should be. Kevin Steen cuts a hilarious promo on Sabin, but he tosses an empty bottle off screen and says "ACH is on the phone, BUT NOBODY CALLED HIM. HE NEEDS PEOPLE TO THINK HE'S POPULAR! NOBODY CARES!" I'm cracking up. I can't believe this guy is NXT Champion. Man, I'm so pumped to see him on the big stage. Tim Donst kills it with his promo on Michael Elgin. I wasn't a big fan of Donst when I first saw him in CHIKARA years ago, but my god has this guy improved since then. He's easily one of my favorite guys on this roster. Jollyville Fuck-its cut a promo, Myers is fine, but T-Money is god awful.

Singles Match
Kevin Steen vs Chris Sabin
This is one hell of a way to kick off a show. Kevin Steen (NXT's Kevin Owens) is an absolute beast. He's easily one of the best wrestlers on the planet today, and Chris Sabin was probably my favorite wrestler for a good year or so back in the mid 2000s. This match could main event most promotions, so to see it open the show has me giddy. They say Steen is 262 pounds. That seems a bit light.

We start with a lock up and a fun little spot. Sabin gets Steen in a wrist lock and rather than reverse it, Steen grabs the rope for a rope break. I chuckled at it, we all know the wrist lock is a devastating submission! They do some fun chaining sequences, but Sabin walks around the ring after a big ol' shoulder block. Steen starts shouting at everyone, but nothing that he's saying really makes any sense, so it's just kind of funny. Steen tells Sabin to go for big shoulder blocks, so Sabin kicks him in the guy instead. Big "ole" chant going, I miss seeing El Generico, bless his soul for helping those orphans. Sabin goes for a sunset flip, but Steen laughs it off and tries to punch him but gets all mat.
Sabin takes Steen outside and hits a chop to which Steen oversells and screams "OW!!!" and I'm cracking up again.

Chop exchange until Sabin pokes him in the eyes. Back inside, Steen hits a flapjack and a senton before stomping on his head. Steen goes outside and into the fans to hug a fan for some reason.

He's a hugger!

That was so random, but I love it. He beats the ten count and goes back to work on Sabin. Sabin tries a sunset flip, but fails again as Steen lifts him up and hits a lariat for two. Sabin tries again and finally connects on a sunset flip! Steen tries one, but Sabin rolls through and hits a dropkick. Enziguri and a superkick by Sabin for another near fall. They trade waist locks until Steen goes for what I thought was his pumphandle neckbreaker, but instead he hits a half nelson-hammerlock-flatliner.

I don't know how or what to call this besides awesome.

Steen goes up top for a Swanton, but Sabin stops him, but Steen tosses him off and hits the Swanton for a near fall. He crushed Sabin, and his soul. Sabin gets revenge for Steen hitting an awesome move by retaliating with a beautiful springboard tornado DDT.

Unfortunately for Sabin, Steen kicks out at two. Sabin tries to lift him again, but still too fat. Sabin hits him a few times and tries again, but nope. Steen reverses into a Package Piledriver attempt, but Sabin reverses it! Steen kicks Sabin away and hits a pop-up Powerbomb, rolling Sabin backwards and hooking him for the Package Piledriver! This time it connects and Steen gets the three count!

Winner: Kevin Steen in about 12 minutes.
This was a really fun opener. The action itself was solid, and Steen was just so randomly hilarious throughout the whole thing. No complaints from me. ***1/4

After the match, Steen gets on the mic and starts cutting a promo putting over AIW and how he wished he could be a part of the JT Lightning Invitational Tournament, but due to scheduling conflicts with PWG...before he can finish, Jimmy Jacobs and BJ Whitmer hit the ring which leads to...

AIW Tag Team Championship
No Disqualification Tag Team Match
The Jollyville Fuck-its ("Nasty" Russ Myers & T-Money)(c) vs The Forgotten (Jimmy Jacobs & BJ Whitmer)
Jollyville Fuck-its interrupt Jacobs' promo on Steen and rush the ring to start the match with some brawling on the outside. I wasn't aware this was No-DQ until the announcers said it. Jacobs takes a suplex on the entrance ramp. Jacobs recovers through and hits an axe handle to the outside while they start fighting in the crowd. Side note: Jacobs' promos are really good. It'll be interesting to see how he'll do in WWE's creative department. Back to the match and Myers hits a nice moonsault plancha onto T-Money and The Forgotten.

This gets a "Holy Shit" chant from the crowd. Back inside the ring, Myers works over Jacobs a bit more, hitting a nice big boot in the corner before Whitmer just decks him with a haymaker. Some double team attacks by The Forgotten, but nothing we haven't seen in every tag match ever. They try a move on T-Money, but he pounces Jacobs and hits an Alabama Slam on Whitmer. Myers comes off the top with a big cannonball senton. I love this move.

CANNONBALLLLLLL!

The cannonball only gets a two as Jimmy pulls the ref out of the ring. They fight some more before Tommy Mercer aka, Crimson from TNA interferes and takes out the Jollyville Fuck-its. This allows Whitmer and Jacobs to hit a nice double team move for the win.

Winners and NEW AIW Tag Team Champions: The Forgotten in about 8 minutes.
This match was a lot of fun. It wasn't too long, in fact, I wish it could have gone a little bit longer. It had some fun spots, and T-Money is easily the odd man out in this four way, but he held his own here. Crimson is interesting to see, I never watched his TNA work, so I'll withhold judgement. Solid match overall. ***


Singles Match
"#AllEgo" Ethan Page(w/ Louis Lyndon & #Sparx) vs Johnny Gargano
I've been a huge Gargano fan for a while now, and Ethan Page has impressed me on the three shows I saw him, so I'm expecting a solid match here. During his entrance, Gargano ran backstage and re-entered again for a second big pop. I chuckled at it. You can tell some of these guys just love wrestling at small shows like this. Ethan sends away Lyndon and Sparx away before the match, while the rant chants "please don't go" at her. I lol'd. Lucky for them, she's in the next match. There's a big "Jesus Christ" chant for Ethan as one fan shouts "FUCK JESUS!" which causes Page and myself to laugh.

We start with a string of nice reversals that ends with a stare down. Then they exchange some strikes. Then chops, then more strikes. Gargano gets an early advantage with a clothesline and goes to work with a nasty dropkick to the back of the head. Page takes control soon after, but Gargano pulls off a sick skinning the cat spot, which ends with him hitting a slingshot spear on Page. I like that move.

Gargano covers for a near fall. Strikes in the corner lead to a big samoan drop to fallaway slam by Page. That was nifty!

Samoan Fallaway Slam Drop?

Outside the ring, the do some brawling with some guard rail spots and some brawling, nothing out of the ordinary. The announcer claims Ethan Page is riding Louis Lyndon's coattails, apparently Lyndon is on a winning streak. Gargano does hit a flip senton onto a standing Page from the apron, not too shabby. Inside, Page reverses a slingshot DDT into an awesome "suplex of doom" as they called it.

AllEgo is AllStrength

That spot got a two as they fight some more in the corner. Nice forearm by Page before Gargano flips into the opposite turnbuckle into a lariat to the back of the head. Big sideslam by Page gets a two count. Page goes for another suplex, but Gargano reverses into his own after they trade suplex attempts. Corner strike and a few roll ups into kicks by Gargano, before he misses a kick and Page lifts him to the apron. Gargano hits the slingshot DDT for a two. Gargano gets Page on his shoulder, but he goes onto the apron and misses the slingshot cutter. Gargano hits a few kicks and covers for two. Gargano eats a boot a flying enziguri from the middle rope for two. Page keeps control and lifts him on the top rope. Superplex attempt is thwarted as Gargano hits about three dozen body shots. Big boot by Page allows him to go up top and set Gargano up for a "spinning Dwayne" which is a spinning Rock Bottom, but Gargano reverses into a huge DDT.

Do you smell was #AllEgo is cookin'?

Gargano only gets a two count. Big "Johnny Wrestling" chant erupts for Gargano. Enziguri by Page and both men are down. Sparx comes out to the ring with a chair and Page is kind of pissed since he sent her away earlier. In the ring, Lyndon comes in the other side with the Intense Title and he goes to nail Gargano, but he's superkicked by Ethan Page! SWERVE!

I'm sorry, I love you.

After this, two things happens, a big "YOU JUST GOT YOUR FUCKING HEAD KICKED IN" chant starts towards Lyndon, and then Gargano and Page start exchanging strikes. Page goes for his slingshot cutter again, but Gargano catches him with a superkick that knocks him to the floor and follows up with a suicide dive. Page then catches Gargano in this weird move that has Gargano wrapped around his back, so he swings Gargano but Johnny reverses it into the Garga-no-escape! Holy shit what a spot.

Ethan does his best to fight out and he does! Rolling up Gargano for a near fall. They exchange kicks until Page hits the spinning Dwayne! Big "This is awesome" chant and I have to agree. Page goes for it again, but Gargano reverses into a victory roll for two! Gargano hits a big lawn dart into the second turnbuckle and hits the Hurts Donut but Page kicks out!

I'll take a baker's dozen, please.

The ref starts counting and Gargano gets to his feet first. Gargano has Page in the corner with some strikes, but both men are clearly on their last legs. He sets Page up top and climbs up with him, but Page reverses his attempt at hurting him with that spinning facebuster he tried before! That move is awesome.

I don't even know what this is called.

Page covers Gargano but only gets a two count! The crowd is going fucking nuts, and Page can't believe it either! Page waits for Gargano to get up, and he tries the Hurts Donut on Page! But Gargano reverses into a Spinning Dwayne of his own! Page kicks out but Gargano immediately locks on the Garga-no-escape! The referee is forced to call for the bell as Ethan Page passed out.
Winner via Ref Stoppage: Johnny Gargano in about 22 minutes
This was fantastic. The story telling was perfect with Ethan telling his partners to leave and then even attacking Lyndon to prove it. The spots were awesome, the match was fluid and flew by. This is going to be a very hard match to top on this card. Damn near perfect match. ****1/4

Six Way Scramble Match
#Sparx vs Cheech vs Brent Banks vs Colin Delaney vs ACH vs Flip Kendrick
Oh man, we're going to follow up that great match with one of the AIW scrambles?! AIW always seems to have these fucking amazing scramble matches on every show. With Cheech, ACH and Flip, this should be another one added to that list. I really enjoy Flip Kendrick. He's definitely made for these types of matches. I think if he were able to improve his technical abilities more he could be a top name on the indy circuit. I think I've only seen on match of Brent Banks, and I don't remember much of it. Sparx is really solid and ACH is just the man. Colin Delaney is hit or miss for me. While introducing names, the announcers says for ACH "it is not unusual for him to fall in love with any-" and starts cracking up while ACH dances. I loved it. I laughed.

ACH and Brent Banks start the match with a handshake that turns into a headlock. Chaining begins, but then ends for a bit when ACH breaks a wrist lock and dances "the Carlton" some more.

How can you not love a fed who has this much fun?

The crowd chants "one more time" and ACH obliges, but is kicked in the gut by Banks to a lot of boos. They trade some reversal spots until Banks takes a boot, a kick and a slingshot cutter from ACH. Cheech comes in and tosses ACH over the rope before connecting with a plancha armdrag that looked pretty. Delaney comes outside and hits a wheelbarrow armdrag leaving Sparx and Kendrick in the ring. Kendrick ducks a clothesline and does a moonsault plancha onto the other four outside the ring. It wasn't as smooth as he usually does them, but it was still nice. Sparx goes up top and does a flipping senton onto all five men.

A bit "Seleziya" chant breaks out as she's taunting in the ring. Cheech has the other guys surround the ring as they all enter in and go after Sparks, a big "Brazzers" chant breaks out and I'm cracking up. Sparks low blows everybody and it's pretty funny. Delaney avoided the lowblows and proceeds to kick her in the head. Corner strikes by everyone to Sparks, except for ACH, who runs up and kisses her instead!

Bah gawd! That woman has a family!

Sparks is perched up top by Delaney, who is knocked down by Sparks. Then Cheech is knocked down, then Banks, then Flip and ACH both try to double superplex her, but Cheech and Delaney come over and get both guys on their shoulders. Seleziya comes off the top with a double Doomsday Device!

That was sick. A huge "Holy Shit" chant erupts and I agree! Sparks goes after Banks in the corner who drives her into the mat with a Michinoku Driver before being kicked by Colin, who is then suplexed by Cheech, who is then kicked in the face by Flip. Kendrick hits this awesome 180 front flip edge-o-matic type move. What the hell?!

Nobody but Flip can hit this so smooth.

Flip is the only one standing now as he pulls ACH into the ring. ACH is tossed to the apron with a guillotine to Kendrick followed by a huge double stomp to a doubled over Flip. He covers, but Sparks breaks up the count. ACH yells at her and Seleziya punches him in the face a few times. ACH doesn't want to hit her, so she hits him a few more times and kicks him in the face before Banks knocks her out of the ring. Delaney comes in, but Banks sends him right out. Cheech tossed onto the apron by Banks and knocked off with a high knee. Plancha by Banks, in the ring Flip kicks Sparks in the face and sets her in the corner. Whip and forearms by Flip, but Sparks hits a spinning heel kick and then powerbombs Kendrick onto everyone else (besides ACH) on the outside!

ACH sneaks into the ring and hits a brutal looking pump kick. ACH hits an awesome moonsault plancha to the outside to everyone, before hopping up top and hitting a sick 450 on Sparks for the win!
Winner: ACH in about 8 minutes
I've said it before, I'll say it again, nobody does scramble matches like AIW. This was amazing. It had some hilarious comedy spots, great high flying and everybody seems to have fantastic chemistry. Extremely entertaining bout and I suddenly want more scramble matches. ****

Singles Match
Veda Scott vs Gregory Iron
I love Veda Scott, but I cannot stand Gregory Iron. Of my 3, now 4, indy show reviews, he's been on all four and I don't understand why. He cuts one of the worst promos I've ever heard on the indies, and all three of his matches I've seen, he's looked terrible. I can only hope this match is short, but I'll keep an open mind. Greg comes out with The Iron Curtain. Veda Scott is by herself.

No introductions in this match as we starts outside the ring. Iron gets the quick advantage by whipping Veda into the guard rail. He goes under the apron and pulls out some chairs. The bell hasn't officially rung yet, but they set up some open chairs near the stage as Veda and Iron fight on the stage. He tries to throw her off the stage onto the open chairs, but Veda spears him on the Iron Curtain. They pull Veda away from Iron as he takes control. He hits an awful looking reverse STO on the ramp.

This would be a cool spot...if Iron didn't suck.

Can this please end? Iron isn't a good heel. I don't want him to get his ass beat, I just want him to get off my media player. He brings nothing to the table. He's sitting in a chair and choking her now with a belt. The ref is trying to get this match in the ring, and Iron sent his stable back to the back as Veda crawls into the ring and now the match has officially started. Iron goes to work with stomps, and a bad drop toe hold. He mounts Veda from behind and starts choking her again. More corner strikes by Iron, until Veda is knocked onto the apron, and Iron hits a springboard back elbow knocking Veda off the apron. Iron goes for a suicide dive and botches it, because of that, he smashed his face right on the guard rail.

Ugh. Please go away.

I'm hoping this causes a count out, but unfortunately, I'm not that lucky. Veda takes control and beats the crap out of him outside the ring. Inside, more chops and strikes by Veda, then a shitty forearm by Iron where he fell down for no reason and got a near fall. Senton by Iron gets a two. Weak grounded forearms by Iron followed by choking Veda on the middle rope. If Iron actually knew how to wrestle, he'd be a fantastic heel. His mannerisms in the match are great, but he just doesn't have the talent to be a professional wrestler, please, someone let him spend three months training with Gargano. Veda takes control with a forearm and a facebuster. 2nd rope clothesline and a necbreaker for two. Tornado DDT is reversed by Iron, but Veda kicks him in the face and hits a crossbody for two. Bad forearms by Iron, then a superplex attempt by Veda. Iron blocks it and hits an elbow drop. I've just been informed that Iron has cerebral palsy. That actually explains a lot. Another jumping reverse STO by Iron gets a two. Jerry comes back out and tosses a chair into the ring. Veda knocks him off the apron and hits a weird hurricanrana onto the chair. Martini comes out and is knocked away by Veda. Veda goes to hit Iron with the chair, but he ducks and the ref takes the chair shot. Out comes Boone and Justice of the Iron Curtain, Veda kicks them both low and takes them out. Truth Martini hits an Angle Slam on Veda and Iron hits her with the ring bell. Iron Curtain roll the ref into the ring, but he's still out. Truth goes for an F-5, but Veda reverses it into a DDT and hits a hanging snapmare driver on Iron.

Veda tries to wake up the ref, but in comes Iron and Veda kisses him before hitting a Saito Suplex and a bridging choke hold. The ref is still down though, and she changes the hold into a dragon sleeper. Ref is still down. Iron is tapping but the ref doesn't see it. The ref wakes up...and he disqualifies Veda...Awful

Winner via DQ: Gregory Iron in about 10 minutes
Awful. There is absolutely nothing redeeming about this match, the entire segment went on far too long and nobody looked good in this match. This also has the worst possible ending for this match. The match itself was about 10 minutes, but the entire segment was near 20. This should have been AT MOST 5-7 minutes. This is the first time I have to give AIW a DUD. Hopefully the last time.

Veda cuts a promo after the match apologizing for not beating Gregory Iron. She challenges Iron to a match at Battle of the Sexes to a steel cage match. I might actually have to watch that. Don't care much for these two feuding, but a cage could be fun.

I'll give Iron credit for wrestling with cerebral palsy, which I was not aware of prior to finding out mid-match. It definitely takes a lot of balls to do that, and his mannerisms in the matches are really good, but I just don't think he should be in a wrestling ring. He'd probably be a much better manager.

Singles Match
Tyson Dux vs Bobby Beverly
Thankfully we get a match that should be pretty good. Lock up starts with some impressive chain wrestling. They go to the ground with Beverly trying to lock an armbar on Dux unsuccessfully. Dux goes for a death valley driver early, but Beverly reverses and hits a snap powerslam real close to the ropes. Dux takes over with strikes in the corner, but Beverly fights back with a reverse STO onto the top rope and a big dropkick for a one count. Dux goes outside and Beverly hits a baseball slide and goes for a kick, but Dux catches it and sweeps it and Beverly face plants on the apron. Dux picks him up and walks him around the ringside area before nailing a big Death Valley Driver onto the ramp!

Run, Cameraman, Run!

Dux brings Beverly back into the ring says "one more time" tossing Beverly back outside, and surprisingly actually hits it again. Back inside, Dux gets a two count and locks on a chin hold. Beverly fights back, but takes an elbow and an elbow drop for another near fall instead. Dux lifts him again for another DVD, but Beverly hits an enziguri and drives Dux into the corner. Dux hits a boot and goes for a lariat but Beverly hits a nice lifting backbreaker instead. Dux rolls onto the apron, and Beverly tries a backdrop driver back into the ring, but Dux fights it off. Dux runs in and eats a tilt-a-whirl Michinoku Driver.

TAKA would be proud.

Two count for Beverly, followed by some chops as Dux is on his knees. Chops and kicks. Dux ducks the head kick and hits a snapmare followed by a big lariat and a death valley driver into the corner!

I really really love this move.

Dux only gets a two count! The crowd isn't shocked, but Dux sure is! Dux goes for a lariat, but instead, Beverly counters with a big reverse STO and locks in a Koji Clutch! Dux taps out!

Winner: Bobby Beverly in about 8 minutes
This was a solid match. It actually went a bit short for my taste and ended kind of abruptly as well. Other than that, no complains. It was really entertaining for what it was. **1/2

AIW Intense Title
Singles Match
Davey Vega vs Louis Lyndon(c)
Lyndon, huge fan of him. Still say he's the most underrated guy on the indies. Davey Vega has really grown on me, and I'm really excited to see this match. Lydon's entrance is hilarious as he screams at fans, but not words, just a regular scream.

We start with some chaining and Vega going for an armbar early on, leading into a wrist-lock suplex and some more chaining before a stare down. Davey takes early advantage when Lyndon goes for a second rope crossbody, but Davey catches him in mid-air with a dropkick!

Lyndon rolls outside and Davey hits a big a tope con hilo! They go back inside and Lyndon "begs" Davey to take a time out, but Lyndon takes a control. Vega whips Lyndon into the corner, and Lyndon jumps up and tries to turn it into a hurricanrana, but Davey cartwheels out of it! A few kicks by Davey followed by a senton gets a two count. Lyndon rolls back outside the ring and Vega hits a baseball slide that sends Lyndon into the crowd! Vega pulls the guard rail in a bit and goes for another tope con hilo, but Lyndon gets on the apron and stops it by bring Vega onto the apron and hitting a huge step-up knee that sends Vega off the apron and over the guard rail. Lyndon hops into the ring and hits a front flip suicide dive!

That was awesome. Lyndon stands on a fan's chair and then throws a random water bottle at Vega on the ground for a lulz moment. Back inside, Lyndon covers for a two count. In the corner, Lyndon is standing on a sitting Vega, before picking him up and hitting a reverse ddt neckbreaker for two. Multiple pin attempts only get a two each time for Lyndon. Davey starts fighting back and tosses Lyndon onto the apron, but Lyndon hits a slingshot school boy into a deadlift german suplex! Holy shit that was insane!

This is why he's so underrated.

That could have really ended it, but Davey's body folded over and his foot was on the rope. Lyndon is going for a dragon sleeper, but he can't get it locked in. Vega hits a back elbow and a big enziguri from the apron before hitting a huge dropkick from the top, followed by double knees in the corner for two. Davey tries to whip Lyndon, but he's resisting so Vega slaps the shit out of him and does it. Vega hits an elbow, tries again, but Lyndon chases him with a big pump kick followed by a super Hurricanrana for two! A big "Vega" chant has started now. Lyndon calls for Vega to get up and goes for a springboard moonsault, but Vega side steps and rolls him up for two. Lyndon rolls out of the ring and Vega hits the ropes, but Lyndon slides in and hits a MONSTER palm strike!

Lydon goes for a backdrop driver, but Vega flips out of it and hits a lariat to the back of Lyndon before nailing a huge german suplex for two! Both men are slow to get up, but Lyndon hits the ropes and gets hit with a huge big boot, followed by Vega dropping Lyndon across his kness with a suplex! Amazingly that only got a two count. Vega tries it again, but Lyndon rolls him up for two. Vega goes for a roll up now, but Lyndon locks him in a dragon sleeper! But wait! Vega rolls backwards into a pin and gets the three count!

Winner and NEW AIW Intense Champion: Davey Vega in about 12 minutes
This match was flat out awesome. After seeing the other two shows, I knew if these two got together it would be magic, and it was. Awesome story telling, awesome spots, awesome finish and just overall a blast to watch that had me on the edge of my seat until the very end. Easy Match of the Night so far. ****1/4

After the match a big "You Deserve It" chant breaks out for Vega, and I can't disagree. Vega is quickly growing on me.

Singles Match
Eddie Kingston(w/ The Duke) vs Rickey Shane Page(w/ Eric Ryan)
I'm a huge fan of both guys here, and I'm really excited to see this match. When looking at the card for this show, this is the match that made me HAVE to review it. RSP is over huge with AIW. It's amazing he's never won the Absolute title. Hopefully 2015 is his year.

We start with some brawling, before RSP beats Kingston from corner to corner. Kingston reverses a whip, hits a dropkick that sends RSP to the outside and then hits a suicide dive. Some standard brawling on the outside with rail spots and an eye gouge. Inside, Kingston continues the controlling state knocking RSP into the corner. Suplex by Kingston gets a one count. Kingston throws him outside the ring again. As Kingston distracts the ref, The Duke uses his foot to start choking Page before rolling him back in. Corner chops by Kingston until Page starts to fight back a bit. Kingston rips his shirt and goes back to chopping Page. Page falls into the corner as Kingston hits some seated chops and a big bootwash

Kingston starts taunting the crowd and Rickey Page. Kingston goes for a tornado DDT, but RSP dodges it and hits a big kick to the back followed by a forearm in the corner and knee to the head for a two count. A big "Let's Go Rickey" chant starts. RSP blocks a backfist and hits an pump kick, a spinning roundhouse and a snap death valley driver for two!

Kingston starts fighting back and takes control after a tornado DDT and a GIANT lariat for a two count!

The announcers can't believe that RSP managed to kick out of that lariat. Kingston goes for a suplex, but Page reverses it into a Twist of Fate! He goes up top and hits a huge splash on Kingston but only gets a two count! Rickey hits a huge rolling elbow that causes Kingston to collapse! 1..2..2.9!

Kingston managed to kick out! Page can't believe it! He picks Kingston up and goes for a German, but Kingston reverses into an enziguri! They start exchanging kicks until Kingston connects with a huge backdrop driver! Page is up to his feet and Kingston connects with a brutal Backfist to the future for the three count!

Winner: Eddie Kingston in about 6 minutes. 
This was a great brawl. Lot of hard hitting action, but the length of the match is my biggest gripe. This show clocks in at just under four hours, and the Veda/Iron segment got nearly 20 minutes. I really think if they switched up this match time with the Veda/Iron match, this would have a shot at being much much better. For what it was, I have no complaints. **1/4

Kingston cuts a promo and tells a fan "Sit down; you're adopted." I laughed. He cuts a fun heel promo and says he doesn't care what they say. "I may be a piece of shit, but I won the match, and I'm probably gonna fuck your girlfriend later" I'm cracking up. Apparently he remembers Leonard F. Chikarason sucking his dick at CHIKARA. Interesting way to put it. He says Duke is the only one who pays him and AIW sucks. He's interrupted by Ethan Page. Kingston tells him to speak his mind, he corrects Kingston on the fed initials, I missed it, but apparently Kingston said IAW. Kingston insults a fan, and tells him to sit down. Page tells the fan he doesn't have to take it from a bully. He demands Page show respect to AIW and it's fans, saying guys like those two gave guys like him a chance. He says Kingston is "in God's house now. Bring it on." A big "Fuck him up, Ethan, Fuck him up" chant erupts. Kingston says he doesn't believe in God, so he has no fear in kicking his ass. Awesome line. He asks Duke if Kingston was paid to fight twice. Duke says absolutely not, and Kingston leaves. Big "you're a pussy" chant towards Kingston. Duke says "why would he give it away for free, like that kid and his mom?" Awesome promo by everyone involved. Page gets over huge with the fans from this promo. He says, in regards to Kingston, "I'll make that bitch tap out in my ring." This was an awesome segment.


Singles Match
Josh Prohibition vs Matt Cross
I feel like I've seen this match happen a lot over the years, so I'm interested to see how these two do here. Someone tells Matt Cross to stop wearing a fake beard and I laughed.

We start with a stare down between Josh, Cross and Cross' beard. They start with some strike exchanges and then some chop trading. Cross hits a pump kick and Prohibition retaliates with a cactus clothesline and we're outside the ring early in this one. That's a really underrated spot we don't see enough.

We get some more basic outside brawling from there with Prohibition whipping Cross into the guard rail but Cross uses it to hop over Prohibition before crotching him on the guard rail and hitting a pump kick to knock him over into the crowd. Cross then leaps over the railing and right into Prohibition. Brawling in the crowd now by the merchandise table as Cross hits a few strikes and a snapmare before legitimately using a child as a weapon. He picked up the kid and lightly dropped him onto Prohibition's chest. That's funny as hell. 

That was awesome. That kid just had the best night of his young life. Cross bounces Prohibition's head against a table and chops him a bunch until Josh fights back. He grabs Cross by the beard and tosses him into the wall, a good height on it, too.

I expect this in the next WWE video game, thanks 2K.

Prohibition then tries to powerbomb Cross through a table, but is backdropped onto it instead! It doesn't give, at all, so that probably hurt a bit. Cross then stands on a table under a basketball net, grabs the net and kinda swings himself onto Prohibition's shoulders hitting a hurricanrana that sends him into the crowd! With the people still there!

Nothin' but net!

I wasn't aware of this being a no disqualification match, but based on the weapons (and children) usage, I'm guessing it is. Cross brings the fight back to ringside, he drapes Prohibition over the guard rail and hits a few strikes to the chest before tossing him into the railing. Our cameraman hops over the guard rail too and I thought he had tripped. Cross grabs an open chair (or he couldn't close it) and hits Prohibition with it, but jokes on him, Josh puts Cross' head in the open chair and tosses him chair first into the ring post! Prohibition whips Cross towards the stage and Cross hops on and of with a crossbody before double stomping Josh between the shoulder blades. They're on the stage now, Prohibition goes for a big powerbomb onto the ramp, but they exchange reversals until Prohibition hits a huge Drunken Driver on the ramp!

Big "A-I-Dub" chant starts and everyone starts marking out, and rightfully so, that was nice. Officials are checking on Matt Cross, but Prohibition pushes them away rolls Cross into the ring and covers for a two count. Prohibition brings in a chair and opens it up, he puts Cross' head on it and heads up top, but Cross tosses the chair at Prohibition as he falls off the top and through the timekeeper's table!

More marking out from the crowd with more A-I-Dub chants. That was awesome. Cross rolls Prohibition into the ring, and hits a big springboard double stomp followed by a pump kick and a big standing shooting star press for another near fall. A small "this is awesome" chant breaks out, and it really has been. Cross goes for the Drunken Driver on Prohibition, but it's reversed and Prohibition goes for his own, but Cross hits a hurricanrana! Prohibition then gets up and hits his own! AND THEN ANOTHER! Oh shit. He covers but Matt Cross kicks out at 2! That was an awesome near fall.

I've seen the results of this match, and even I thought this was it. A huge "Holy Shit" chant erupts and I agree. Now a much bigger "This is awesome" chant starts. Prohibition goes under the ring and pulls out two chairs, someone tosses in a third and he just rolls with it. He stacks the chairs in a small pile and picks Cross up. He sets him on the top rope and goes for a t-bone superplex, but Cross fights out of it and knocks him off the ropes and onto the pile of chairs and then hits a HUGE Shooting Star Press! But Prohibition kicks out! Jesus Christ.

The crowd is freaking out now. Cross can't believe this isn't over yet, and lifts Prohibition to his feet and hits a piledriver on a chair, but Prohibition kicks out again! Cross sets up four open chairs now as Prohibition gets to his feet. He brings Prohibition onto the chairs and goes for the Drunken Driver, but Josh reverses and hits the Drunken Driver through two of the chairs! Holy shit. He covers and gets the win.

This is just nuts.

Winner: Josh Prohibition in about 20 minutes.
This was awesome. It was brutal as hell, but it had some funny spots, some hardcore spots and a ton of incredible near falls. I don't think it's the match of the night, but it's not far off. ****

AIW Absolute Championship
Singles Match
Tim Donst vs Michael Elgin(c)
I'm iffy on this match. I still have no interest in ever watching Elgin wrestle, but I love Tim Donst. I found myself pretty damn upset when he recently announced a hiatus from wrestling due to a tumor on his kidney. He's a good guy and a damn good wrestler. If you happen to see this, get well soon, Tim. About the match, I don't get why Elgin gets so much love. He's an average talent with very little personality, but whatever, maybe Donst kills him and takes the belt here.

We start with some chain wrestling and "Donst is Wrestling" chants. Donst ducks a clothesline but sells it anyway like it knocked him a little loopy. Chain wrestling continues until Elgin reverses a simple fireman's carry into an armbar and Donst rolls out of the ring. Donst catches his breath before going back into the ring where they lock up again. Huge chop by Elgin leaves Donst reeling. Donst tries to shoulder block Elgin, doesn't work too well, so he chops him a couple of times. Some more rest holds and a few more chops are exchanged. Slow start to this match, but I think it's set to go about 25 minutes or so, so it should pick up. Donst is down after some more big shots from Elgin. They exchange waist locks until Elgin trips Donst and hits a slingshot splash for two. Elgin whips Donst into the corner hard, causing Donst to fall on his face and roll onto the apron. Donst goes to the second rope and tries to suplex Donst into the ring, but he's tripped up and Donst hits a lariat in the corner for a two count. Suplex attempt by Donst thwarted by a big knee from Elgin. Donst knocks Elgin out of the ring and goes for a suicide dive, but Elgin catches him and hits a belly to belly onto the entrance ramp. Not the best looking suplex, and Donst nearly fell on his head.

Cool idea, sloppy execution

Some more of the usual ringside brawling spots, more chops, nothing too exciting. Donst whips Elgin into the railing and goes to splash him from the apron, but Elgin moves and Donst slams right into it. Big boot and a backdrop onto the railing by Elgin. Donst is hurting, but manages to barely get in the ring before the count of ten. Donst gets to his knees, but Elgin just punches him a bunch more. Elgin goes for a powerbomb, but Donst escapes and hits a t-bone suplex.

Donst then connects with a cutter and a big clothesline that turns Elgin inside-out for a two count. Donst gets Elgin in the corner and hits 10 forearms, Elgin ends up on the apron and hits an enziguri and tries to suplex Donst to the outside, but instead Donst ends up on the apron with him. Chops are exchanged. Elgin and Donst are on opposite sides of the 2nd rope and it looks like Elgin is going for a superplex to the outside, but Donst knocks him off and hops in the ring before connecting on a suicide dive. He goes for the apron dive again and this time he kind of hits it. Elgin bumped too early and that caused Donst to smash his chin on the guard rail.

Kinda supposed to catch the guy

Donst rolls Elgin in and covers, but only gets a two count. Elgin drives him into the corner and hits a few forearms as Donst hits some of his own. More strike exchanging that ends with Elgin hitting a big side slam on Donst for two. I like that slam.

Simple and beautiful.

Donst is down, but the fans are up for him. Elgin pulls him up and goes for a deadlift German suplex, but has to settle for a rolling elbow. He does hit a German suplex, but Donst gets right up, he does a right arm clothesline, but Elgin comes back with a huge left arm lariat for two. He goes for a powerbomb on Donst, but takes a back body drop instead. Elgin tosses Donst onto the top rope and drop kicks him. He climbs up and goes for a big superplex to Donst. Donst hits a bunch of headbutts and drops to the apron before hitting a slingshot clothesline to knock Donst down. Gator roll by Donst gets a two as Elgin gets his foot on the rope. I like that move also. It didn't look as good as it did to Eddie Kingston, but still an awesome neckbreaker.

Donst gets in the refs face, which is strange for a face to do. Donst went for a sunset flip, but Elgin rolled through and went for a lifting powerbomb, but Donst reversed it into a "From Donst to Dawn" attempt, but Elgin got to the ropes before he could lock it in. Elgin is distracting the ref now, as Donst charges Elgin moves and down goes the ref. Huge backfist, powerbomb into the turnbuckle and sit out powerbomb by Elgin. He covers, but the ref is down. Elgin wakes the ref up, and approaches Donst, but Donst rolls him up and gets a two. Elgin goes for the turnbuckle powerbomb again, I can't tell if Donst tried to reverse it or if the spot was botch, but it did not look good. Elgin then picks him up and hits another disgusting backfist. Why is he using this move when someone on the same show uses it as a finisher?

If you could only hear this gif. Murder.

Donst kicks out at two. Elgin immediately locks in a crossface, but Donst gets to the bottom rope. Elgin gets Donst to his feet and props him up on the top rope and climbs up with him, going for a super powerbomb. Donst reverses it into a huge death valley driver off the ropes!

Donst connects with another gator roll, but again only gets a two count. Donst is first to his feet, and picks Elgin up, or tries to, but Elgin is gripping the ropes. Donst goes for a german, but Elgin reverses into a roll up and into a crossface. Donst rolls him up for a two count. Enziguri by Elgin, but Donst just punches him in the face in the corner a few times. Both guys are fatigued, but they exchange strikes anyway. A few slaps knocks Donst down as Elgin covers for two. Elgin gets on the second rope, but Donst hits him and follows. Donst goes for a hurricanrana, but Elgin connects with a super powerbomb and then hits two powerbombs. He goes for a third, but Donst reverses the third. Elgin hits yet another backfist, followed by a rolling elbow and another powerbomb for the three.
Winner and still AIW Absolute Champion: Michael Elgin in about 30 minutes.
This was an incredibly underwhelming match. It consisted of Elgin beating the shit out of Donst for 20 minutes, Donst never really looking like he had a chance at any point, and had Elgin repeating the same 3 strikes 80% of the time. The only powerbomb that looked good was the very last one as all the others were incredibly sloppy. This match should not have main evented. Switch this match with Lyndon vs Vega or Prohibition vs Cross and you have a great ending to the show. *


Overall: 8/10 Great. Aside from this show having one dud and a bad main event, it also had four matches that I gave four stars to. That doesn't happen too often when I watch independent wrestling. Match of the Night was easily Louis Lyndon vs Davey Vega. AIW continues to impress me with great shows, and might be my favorite American Independent promotion right now. While feds like Ring of Honor and PWG have great matches, neither of them have such a variety like AIW does while maintaining the great quality. It's another awesome show from these guys, and I'm really looking forward to my next review of theirs, which will be AIW Dead Presidents 2013. 

Stay tuned for my next review, however, which will be GFW and NJPW Present: Wrestle Kingdom 9!